Archive for September, 2011


There once was a guy named Rob who got bitten by a strange cat. But it wasn’t just any cat– from that moment on, every full moon Rob would morph into a Were-Cat. Except a”Were-Cat” didn’t turn out to be a giant bloodthirsty beast (like a werewolf); no, Rob transformed into a regular 9-pound housecat during every full moon.

It was a real pain in the ass for Rob, because he worked the night shift at Wal-Mart. Every month he would have to make up a new excuse as to why he couldn’t be at work for a few nights. He knew nobody would believe him if he told them he was turning into a cat.

It got really awkward for Rob when he got a girlfriend, because he knew she would be turned off if she saw him transform into a housecat. So,  those nights when he called off work saying he had the flu/a family emergency/was abducted; he told his girlfriend he was working extra hours at the store.

Rob couldn’t cook for himself when he was a cat, so he kept a bag of cat food in his home and set out a bowl for himself before the full moon would rise. He really hated cat food; but one night he put a pizza on the floor for himself and learned (the hard way) that cats don’t digest pizza very well. It was also hard to explain to his girlfriend why he kept so much cat food around when he didn’t own a cat.

One night in bed, during a moment of passion, Rob bit his girlfriend and infected her. The next night– the night of a full moon– Rob went to her apartment and saw his girlfriend transform into a cat. Just then Rob transformed into a cat, too, and the snuggled up and purred and licked each other’s faces until the sun came up.

The next morning, Rob proposed to his girlfriend. They got married and had a baby girl were-kitten. When their daughter got to be of age, she infected her husband and they made more were-kittens.

The family kept their secret; never told anyone about their feline adventures during the full moon. Rob’s grandchildren and great-grandchildren still live in the same Southwestern town; leading quiet, private lives and routinely turning into cats.

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